Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year

Peace be upon you all, wishing you a Happy New Blessed Year!

Honestly speaking, I don't really feel like a new year.
It's typical that people celebrate it, but in fact it is just a change of a number. Can a number make a difference?

But yeah, you see. Who in the year 2000 will ever expect that we'll be living up to now, 2013? When I was standard 6, or generally speaking, I was in primary school, we've seen so many bad things happen and we used to relate it to the Last Hour. I always thought that the Hour was too near that I may not even able to live any longer, having a husband and children. The future seems so unpromising.

But yet, now I'm in 2013. If during the time of the Prophet sallahualaihi wasallam, the analogy for the world was as an old women, what would be her condition for now, after almost 1400 years past?

Last year ended with a death of Damini (not real name), a victim of a gang-raped case in New Delhi, on 29th December 2012.

By time, when people, bit by bit, leaving the nature of them, to have a God and purpose in life, we see human are getting inhumane. It can hardly be differentiated from human to animals. In some instances, we see that the animals can be more human than human itself.

That was what 2012 men did.

This new year, I bet, more inhumanity will be written on history.

What will 2013 men do this year?

Believe me, a number wouldn't change a man. The same, even worse thing will happen.
A new year, is a victory year for some, and intimidating for others, terrorizing for minors.
Some people are meant to die this year. Meant to be abused, meant to be corrupted, meant to be destroyed.

For having inhuman people, our future is terrorized.

Love Principle.

 Bajet gile kan ade Prinsip Cinta. Kahkah.

Flowering and blossoming like love? Kredit kepada Madmie AvantGarde

Kenapa nak tulis pasal ni? Out of the blue kan. Sebab aku tetiba terfikir tentang seseorang..


Cinta ni kena ikut konteks. So aku tulis ni ikut konteks orang yang percaya adanya Tuhan, dan percaya yang Dia ada hantar utusan yang sepatutnya menjadi contoh kita dalam kehidupan seharian.

Aku tak quote any holy scriptures, yang aku nak bebel cumalah benda logik dan fitrah, yang aku rasa patutnya semua orang boleh fikir. Kenapa aku nak guna logik je? Sebab cinta tu memang original nya ada kat diri semua orang. Tak perlu ada reference book pun orang dah pandai bercinta. Yang tengok jugak reference tu, adalah orang-orang yang mimpi nak bercinta macam drama korea or Cinderella - which is toooooo far away to resemble the reality.

Ayat aku macam kasar sikit sebab ni bab cintan cintun kan. So kalau ayat berbunga lagi la orang melayang. Dan aku, takde masa untuk benda-benda mengurangkan iman ni. Ececeh.

Bismillah dan assalamualaikum.

Tetiba hilang idea.


Young man, control in your hand.
Slam your fist on the table and make your demand.
Take a stand, make a fire for the flame of the youth,
Got a freedom to choose, you better make the right move.
(Matisyahu - Youth)

Ayat di atas utk naikkan semangat je: Slam your fist on the table!

It's still okay to give in in certain situations, but when it deals with love, I think it's a start of a very long journey when marriage happens. It's about my future, the kids I'm gonna raise and all family members on both sides. I need to be firm.

Tell me what do you feel when you're in love? Have you ever experienced one? I'm proud to admit, yes, but hypocrisy tells, I haven't REALLY.

When you're in love, it is so hard to tell anything wrong. Everything will be perceived as right, and both person will promise to sacrifice and do anything for the partner. Is that a typical story? It's shown in the movie, and it's happening for real. Cuma ending selalunya tak berlaku dalam realiti.

Dalam keadaan itu, we're uncontrollable. Nampak macam ok, tapi hati yang terpaut (macam terpaut kat pokok) susah nak dilepaskan. Tapi bila dah jatuh, baru kita perasan tinggi rendah pokok, baru perasan kenapa lah aku dok tergantung takde arah tujuan tu?

Uncontrollable means - your definition of what you do is no longer reflects the reality, but it is tied and narrowed down to entertain and fit your own love story.  Cause you got interest there. You get what I mean?

Partner kita tu macam pokok tu. He will not bring us anywhere, unless, die teruskan dengan perkahwinan, which is a very hard decision to do. Tapi kalau kita teruskan bertaut, apa yang kita dapat? Keseronokan dibuai angin sambil terhuyung hayang di pergantungan kat pokok tu. Yes, itu yang kita dapat. Memang seronok. Siapa yang taknak menikmati perasaan indah di celahan hidup yang penuh stress ni kan?
Kerana ia adalah keputusan yang sangat berat (utk teruskan dengan berkahwin), makanya, orang lelaki atau perempuan yang mulakan hajat itu, aku kira sebagai, mature, determined and serious!

Tapi kalau yang cakap "ok, kita akan kahwin, tapi sabar ye sayang..' dan dalam masa die nak suruh aku bersabar tu, die nak aku tumpahkan jugak kasih sayang kat die, ataupun aku yang nak jugak bagi kasih sayang kat orang yang entah2 tak sempat pun kahwin dengan aku sebab Allah panggil die dulu, tu dua-dua spesis, aku kire, GEDIK. 

Gedik dan aku condemn perbuatan itu sebagai; a serious harassment! Even if it has a mutual consent from both parties dan walaupun aku tak terlibat.

Kenapa serious harassment? Sebab..
- ia mengganggu status kedua-dua pihak untuk bergantung harap kepada Allah yang satu, 
- ia akan membuatkan kita mencampur adukkan yang batil dan hak.
- kurangnya keberkatan dalam perkahwinan, sebab, melanggar larangan Allah sebelum berkahwin.
- mengambil hak orang lain yang lebih layak utk diberi kasih sayang. Macam aku ni :) kahkah.

Things are pretty much simple.

1. Get ready for yourself to get married ie mentally, physically, financially prepared.
2. If you have someone in mind, approach her/him with all your preparations. (Note: IF you have prepared)
3. If you have someone but not prepared:
    - Fast, as what Rasulullah has adviced.
    - Keep on praying to Allah while preparing yourself.
    - Don't EVER tell her/him anything or give any hint! You have to SURE to Allah that if you keep on praying, keep on trusting that she's the one Allah has written for you, the best for you, you will surely get her. Worry not!
4. Get clear with her/his parents. Have all your plans in mind - clarified - to her/his parents.
5. Proceed with a very simple marriage :)
6. Have your very FIRST honeymoon (physically and emotionally) happily and blissfully. Ameen!
7. Die and remarry in the Jannah! Awwww!

Afraid if you're not compatible with her/him?

1. Build your trust in Allah - that you get someone good for you.
2. Approach her/his parents saying that you wanna know how is she/he like.
3. Meet her/him, with an accompany of a married couple who's expert in handling the taaruf session.
4. Apply for matrimonial and tell your demand.

I cannot guarantee that if you follow this, your marriage will last long. But Allah guarantees that a blessed marriage will last long. This is just a general guidelines, which I think is the best way to keep the barakah, that I can come up with, based from my experience listening to talks and talking to people and having a counseling and having my own journey. Yet, I'm not married and still searching the better :)

Jangan main-main dengan hati orang!
Don't be afraid, slam your fist on the table and make your demand!

Yeaaaaah. Happy marrying!

Thursday, November 22, 2012


"People seek for change only when they are desperate"

I am desperate. =.='

"We all need lots of powerful long-range goals to help us past the short-term obstacles."

"Success is 20% skills and 80% strategy. You might know how to read, but more importantly, what's your plan to read?" 

"Discipline yourself. Learning will take work."

"The best motivation is self-motivation. The guy says, "I wish someone would come by and turn me on." What if they don't show up? You've got to have a better plan for your life."

"Don't wish it was easier; wish you were better."   

"You've got to believe in the possibilities. You've got to believe that tomorrow can be better than today. And here's the big one. Believe in yourself." 


Get ready.


For a better world, it starts from you!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012


The past is too disgusting.

The future is yet to be interesting.

Stop looking at the back.

But moving forward forces me to bring along something. Can I just leave it behind?

Cause I wanted to start anew.

God. Let us forgive and forget.

Its a mistake that can be erased, I can even erase it myself.

I don't want to bring the false dreams forward. I don't want to reconstruct the tainted paintings.

I want to re-draw.

Erase everything and re-draw.

But if one of the painters refused, what shall I do?

The choice is mine.

How can I let it holds me back?

But the past is not to be forgotten.

It taught me how to drive carefully towards the future.

The more I learn from it, the more I realize how disgusting I've been.

The more I feel like leaving it behind, the more I want things to vanish.

The more I want to start anew.

I hope, my choice of turning a new leaf, wouldn't leave any souls hurt.

Please don't be hurt and understand.

I'm pretty sure, it was a false dream. It was fake. It was tainted. It's dirty.

Please understand and let's pray.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012


Semangat itu mudah hilang.

Katanya kerana matlamat tidak jelas.

Hati tidak ikhlas.

Satu persatu orang melepasi.

Hanya melihat atau teruskan berlari?

Yang melambatkan bukan batu-batu di jalanan.

Tapi keajaiban yang selalu diangan-angan,

tanpa usaha bak segenggam tangan.

Ya Allah, kuatkanlah!

Pembelajaran ini adalah untuk ummah.

Kalau dulu yakin ingin berubah,

kenapa kini hilang hammassah?

Ingat, dihujung perjalanan,

ada dunia dan syurga.

Seorang muslim tidak hilang keduanya.

Menguasai realiti akan membuatkan fantasi mengikuti.

Yang mana satu realiti di matamu,

dunia atau syurga Yang Satu?

"...dan janganlah kamu lupa akan bahagianmu di dunia.."
(Al Qasas: 77)


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

4th Overall Best Speaker.

I’ve left this blog for nearly a year. But last night I decided to continue writing. Anyway, who cares?

Before that, this 2nd block of first year is relatively as tough as the 1st block, but I don’t see any increment in my frequency of study, yet I leave my room more often and I made my weekends more busy. Err.


From left: Sarah, Jannah, Syazwan, Kareem, Hafiz, Hasna. I tell you, they are awesome!

My very first tournament in University level just ended last 29th January 2012; it’s the 1st East Coast Debating Cup 2012. And IIUM team did perform very well.

IIUM 1 broke as Semi-finalist
IIUM 2 broke as Quarter-finalist
IIUM overall speakers ranking:
1st – Sarah
3rd – Kareem
4th – Jannah
6th – Hafiz
10th – Hasna
11th – Syazwan

I’m very proud to be in a team with you guys but sadly, most of them are reaching their final years. We have just a very little time more to spend together as debaters.

This is indeed my very first achievement in debate. I’m not very much happy, but I’m grateful that it marked my improvement since I left my debating career for almost 3 years. I’m not sure what I really felt though my heart beat very fast and my hands were cold when I went on the stage to get the prize. I was like, is this for real?

When I first joined the debate club here, I only knew Kareem. Accidentally he was invited to adjudicate in MUSLEH ISDC and we met there when I was one of the runners. Then I knew Sarah who is very much helpful to fetch me at Tabari and go for training together. There is also Raheela and Fatimah, Hafiz and Syazwan, Hannan and Abid. The only debater in my batch is Kamal whom I knew since in CFS but we never talked. I just realized that I am very blessed to get to know these people when we went out for dinner together the night the debate ended to celebrate ourselves. I really am looking forward to more precious time we’ll be spending together as IIUM team.

Coming up next: NOVICE 2012. Go Raheela and Fatimah! J

Debaters, I just hope that when God POI-ed us on The Day when our feet, hands, legs, eyes, ears and hairs are giving speech on our best arguments to defend the case of all the things we did in this world, we could answer it as smooth as we did in any of our best-est debate tournament. Then I’m sure, we’ll be granted the best prize than any of the world-class tournaments have to offer. But yeah, on that day, we couldn’t be a team anymore, and couldn’t help each other L

When I started to wonder why I need to continue debating, then I’ll remember Ustazah Hawanis’s speech in one of SMIH Debate camps: The real urge that man needs to have critical thinking is from Al-Quran itself. Why do other people take the challenge more than we do?

True. Go and see any debating scenes. How many of them are real Muslims who claim to have been taught by the best Way-of-Life Guidance Book and obey the Almighty that controls the Universe?

The numbers are not more than you counting your fingers.

And I never think Ustazah Kamaliah wants us to debate only for the school. So I'm moving on.